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When you are sad...
I will get you drunk
and help you plot revenge against the scum-sucking parasite who made you sad.
When you are scared...
I will laugh at you
and tease you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried...
I will tell you how
much worse it could be and to quit complaining.
When you are confused...
I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.
When you are sick...
I will hold your hair while you pay homage to the porcelain god.
When you fall...
I will point and laugh at your
clumsy ass.
This is my oath, I pledge till the end.
Why you may ask? Because you're my friend.
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