TRIVIA: NEW & OLD    [With Comments By JokeMaster]

Alaska could hold the 21 smallest States.

[But then it would be REALLY crowded!]

If you put a raisin in a glass of champagne, it will keep floating to the top and sinking to the bottom.

[Big deal. The same thing happens if you throw a drunk in a pool.]

Kermit the Frog is left-handed.

[Doesn't something have to be alive to favor a 'hand'? "Oh look, my cactus is right-handed."]

Nondairy creamer is flammable.

[A possible cause of heartburn.]

The car in the foreground on the back of a $10 bill is a 1925 Hupmobile.

[Clinton has a later version, the '99 Humpmobile.]

Dr. Seuss and Kurt Vonnegut went to college together. They were even in he same fraternity, where Seuss decorated the fraternity house walls with 20 drawings of his characters.

[It was one wild and crazy frat. This probably explains Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse Five."]

If you can see a rainbow you must have your back to the sun. If you don't, you can't see it.

[It's a trick! Never turn your back on the sun!!]

The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

[The first solution was an elevator; but horses soon learned how to push the buttons. Quick descending poles were installed because firemen were very lonely.]

It's rumored that sucking on a copper penny will cause a breathalyzer to read 0.

[This occurs when the penny sticks in your throat, causing death.]

Dogs and humans are the only animals with prostates.

[Ever try to give your dog a home prostate exam?]

The highest scoring word in the English language game of Scrabble is 'Quartzy.' This will score 164 points if played across a red tripleword square with the Z on a light blue double-letter square. It will score 162 points if played across two pink doubleword squares with the Q and the Y on those squares. 'Bezique' and Cazique' are next with a possible 161 points. All three words score an extra 50 points for having seven letters and therefore emptying the letter rack in one go.

[This assumes your kids haven't lost some of your Scrabble pieces.]

Assuming Rudolph was in front, there are 40,320 ways to arrange the other eight reindeer.

[For people who have way to much time on their hands.]

The dial tone of a normal telephone is in the key of "F".

[The key of "F" is phonetic for fone."]

The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.

[This explains why every koala bear in the US is kept behind bars. One may be the killer OJ is looking for.]

In the four major US professional sports (baseball, basketball, football, and hockey), there are only seven teams whose nicknames do not end with an "S" Basketball The Miami Heat, The Utah Jazz, The Orlando Magic. Baseball The Boston Red Sox, The Chicago White Sox. Hockey The Colorado Avalanche, The Tampa Bay Lightning. Football None.

[If you examine every letter in every name of every major league team, you'll find they are all alphanumeric characters!]

Beelzebub, another name for the devil, is Hebrew for Lord of the Flies, and this is where the book's title comes from.

[This dispels the belief that sh*t is lord of the flies.]

It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word is spear.

[Of course Bill's parents had insider information 46 years earlier.]

The ship, the Queen Elizabeth 2, should always be written as QE2. QEII is the actual queen.

[The queen can't do numbers.]

There were no squirrels on Nantucket Island, Massachusetts until 1989.

[It took the island that long to collect enough nuts.]

The correct response to the Irish greeting, "Top of the morning to you," is, "and the rest of the day to yourself."

[This is a myth. The Irish have no concept of morning due to excessive drinking the night before.]

The Les Nessman character on the TV series WKRP in Cincinnati wore a Band-Aid in every episode, either on himself, his glasses, or his clothing.

[He was amazingly careless.]

Before Prohibition, Shlitz Brewery owned more property in Chicago than anyone else, except the Catholic church.

[During Prohibition people discovered the English translation of the word "Shlitz."]

Columbia University is the second largest landowner in New York City, after the Catholic Church.

[And neither does anything productive with the land.]

When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home to a sellout crowd, the stadium becomes the state's third largest city.

[And by then end of the game, they've shucked the entire corn harvest.]

John Larroquette of "NightCourt" and "The John Larroquette Show" was the narrator of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre."

[It's amazing; he sounds just like a chainsaw!]

In 1963, baseball pitcher Gaylord Perry remarked, "They'll put a man on the moon before I hit a home run." On July 20, 1969, a few hours after Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon, Gaylord Perry hit his first, and only, home run.

[Until then he was more interested in scratching 'em than hitting 'em.]

Ohio is listed as the 17th state in the U.S., but technically it is Number 47. Until August 7, 1953, Congress forgot to vote on a resolution to admit Ohio to the Union.

[Obviously Ohioans were living in sin all those years.]

When Saigon fell, the signal for all Americans to evacuate was Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" being played on the radio.

[Snow in Saigon? That wouldn't sound suspicious.]

The dome on Monticello, Thomas Jefferson's home, conceals a billiards room. In Jefferson's day, billiards were illegal in Virginia.

[The founders of our country felt anything with that many balls must be evil.]

The pet ferret (Mustela putorias furo) was domesticated more than 500 years before the house cat.

[Trick statement. The house cat has NEVER been domesticated.]