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- I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ... and I also know that I'm not blonde. - Dolly Parton
- You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong
- I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. - Rita Rudner
- My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
- I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
- Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma
Bombeck - If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
- I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
- I think-therefore I'm single. - Lizz Winstead
- When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler
- Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryann Person
- I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Radner
- In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher
- I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinhem
- Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinhem
- I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a
cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli - Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. - Baroness Edith Summerskill
- If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around
your neck? - Linda Ellerbee - I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
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