15   Charmin: "Butt... Wipe... Err."
     14   Microsoft: "How much are you going to pay today?"
     13   Eggs: "The Incredible Edible Ovum."
     12   MTV: "Loud and easy to spell."
     11   Saks 5th Avenue: "You Could Shop Here if You're Poor, But That Would
          be Stupid."
     10   Iguana: "The other green meat."
     9    Penis Enlargement Specialists: "It Don't Mean a Thing If It Ain't Got
          That Swing!"
     8    Nike: "Just buy the damn shoes, you flabby spineless lump!"
     7    Daisy Air Rifles: "Keeping kids off your lawn for over forty years."
     6    Canon Photocopiers: "Quit calling them Xeroxes, dammit!"
     5    Pepto Bismol: "Squash the Squirts!"
     4    Trojans: "Just add meat."
     3    Apple MacIntosh: "Hey, we thought of it first!"
     2    Radio Shack: "You've got questions, we've got geek losers!"
     and the Number 1 Slogan That Never Quite Caught On...
     1    Professional Bowling on NBC: "Oh, why don't you just go ahead and
          kill yourself instead?"