What's this? (stick out your tongue)

A lesbian with a hard-on.

Two gay necrophiliacs were walking past the morgue.

One turns to the other and says, "Hey, you wanna go in and suck up a couple of cold ones?"

How do you make 2 pounds of ugly fat look attractive?

Put a nipple on it.

Why does it suck to be an egg?

You only get laid once, eaten once, it takes 15 minutes to get hard, 3 minutes to get soft, and the only chick who will sit on your face is your mother.

What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?

A cherry float.

Did you hear about the pregnant bedbug?

--She had her baby in the spring

Did you hear about the transvestite from Harvard?

--He spent the year a broad