Restroom Graffiti:

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open. Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington.
Men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington

Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.

I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards. Houghton Library, Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts.

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives. Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C.

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?" Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia.

God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust? The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.
Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats, Scottsdale, Arizona.

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry. Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Arizona.

Make love, not war. - Hell, do both, get married

God is dead. - Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead. - God
The Tombs Restaurant, Washington, D.C.

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. Revolution Books, New York, New York

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas.

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?

Express Lane: Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Phoenix,AZ.

You're too good for him.
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills,CA.

No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA.

What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands. Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, Kentucky.