REAL NEWSPAPERS HEADLINES

          12 On Their Way To Cruise Among Dead In Plane Crash
         2 Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter
                             Air Head Fired
              Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire
              Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
                   Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood
                 Bank Drive-in Window Blocked By Board
     Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
                British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
               British Union Finds Dwarfs In Short Supply
                    Caribbean Islands Drift To Left
             Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed Needy
                Children's Stool Great For Use In Garden
                          Chinese Apeman Dated
                         Chou Remains Cremated
                    Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
           Columnist Gets Urologist In Trouble With His Peers
               Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly
                  Deaf College Opens Doors To Hearing
               Dealers Will Hear Car Talk Friday At Noon
             Death Causes Loneliness, Feelings Of Isolation
                           Deer Kill 130,000
                 Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
                   Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 In '84
           Dr. Ruth To Talk About Sex With Newspaper Editors
                  Eighth Army Push Bottles Up Germans
             Enfield Couple Slain;  Police Suspect Homicide
                   Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
                          Eye Drops Off Shelf
                       Farmer Bill Dies In House
                 Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One
                          Hershey Bars Protest
                   Hitler, Nazi Papers Found In Attic
                  Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
          If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
               Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
                         Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
                Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
                Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
                      Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
          Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
                  Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
                 Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
                     Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
             Man Eating Piranha Mistakenly Sold As Pet Fish
                          Man Is Fatally Slain
                      Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
              Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
                   Men Recommend More Clubs For Wives
                   Miners Refuse To Work After Death
                  Mounting Problems For Young Couples
             Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
                  New Housing For Elderly Not Yet Dead
             New Missouri U. Chancellor Expects Little Sex
            New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
                     New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
                    N.J. Judge To Rule On Nude Beach
               Old School Pillars Are Replaced By Alumni
              Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
              Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
              Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
                   Police Discover Crack In Australia
              Prosecutor Releases Probe Into Undersheriff
                       Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
                    Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
               Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
       Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
            Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
               Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
                  Smoker Mothers Have Lighter Children
           Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
               Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction
                Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again
                      Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
                        Steals Clock, Faces Time
              Stiff Opposition To Casketless Funeral Plan
                     Stolen Painting Found By Tree
                             Stud Tires Out
                     Students Hear Reptile Lecture
                Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
                       Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
                  Two Convicts Evade Noose; Jury Hung
                   Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
                 Victim Tied, Nude Policeman Testifies
                        War Dims Hope For Peace
                Women's Movement Called More Broad-based











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