REAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES

         12 On Their Way To Cruise Among Dead In Plane Crash
        2 Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter
           Air Head Fired
             Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire
             Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board
 Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood
    Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
             British Union Finds Dwarfs In Short Supply
              British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
   Caribbean Islands Drift To Left
            Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed Needy
        Chinese Apeman Dated
              Children's Stool Great For Use In Garden
        Chou Remains Cremated
         Columnist Gets Urologist In Trouble With His Peers
  Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
             Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly
 Deaf College Opens Doors To Hearing
              Dealers Will Hear Car Talk Friday At Noon
           Death Causes Loneliness, Feelings Of Isolation
          Deer Kill 130,000
Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
  Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 In '84
          Dr. Ruth To Talk About Sex With Newspaper Editors
 Eighth Army Push Bottles Up Germans
            Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
 Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
         Eye Drops Off Shelf
      Farmer Bill Dies In House
               Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One
        Hershey Bars Protest
 Hitler, Nazi Papers Found In Attic
Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
        If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
              Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
        Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
              Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
              Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
     Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
         Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
               Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
   Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
           Man Eating Piranha Mistakenly Sold As Pet Fish
            Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
    Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
        Man Is Fatally Slain
 Men Recommend More Clubs For Wives
  Miners Refuse To Work After Death
 Mounting Problems For Young Couples
           Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
          New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
            New Missouri U. Chancellor Expects Little Sex
New Housing For Elderly Not Yet Dead
   New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
  N.J. Judge To Rule On Nude Beach
              Old School Pillars Are Replaced By Alumni
             Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
             Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
            Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
 Police Discover Crack In Australia
             Prosecutor Releases Probe Into Undersheriff
     Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
  Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
             Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
      Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
          Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
              Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
Smoker Mothers Have Lighter Children
          Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
             Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction
               Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again
     Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
      Steals Clock, Faces Time
             Stiff Opposition To Casketless Funeral Plan
    Stolen Painting Found By Tree
           Stud Tires Out
    Students Hear Reptile Lecture
               Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
      Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
 Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
 Two Convicts Evade Noose; Jury Hung
Victim Tied, Nude Policeman Testifies
       War Dims Hope For Peace
              Women's Movement Called More Broad-based











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