The Right Words....
Whenever you're looking for the perfect comeback, pick one of these....

• Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
  • Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
  • The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
  • I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
  • Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
  • I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
  • What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
  • I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
  • I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
  • I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
  • It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
  • Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
  • No, my powers can only be used for good.
  • How about never? Is never good for you?
  • I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
  • You're starting to sound reasonable...Time to up my medication
  • Are you a ray of sunshine every day?
  • I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
  • I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
  • I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
  • Who me? I just wander from room to room.
  • My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
  • It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
  • At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
  • You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
  • I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

*You were sent here as a warning to others, weren’t you?