You know you're from Manitoba when........
1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and
ketchup.
2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a
snowsuit.
3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.
4. You have more miles on your snow blower than
your car.
5. You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
6. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the
toy stores at Christmas.
7. You live in a house that has no front step, yet
the door is one meter above the ground.
8. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a
blizzard.
9. Driving is better in the winter because the
potholes are filled in with snow.
10. You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a
flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
11. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your
car.
12. The local paper covers national and
international headlines on 2 pages,
but requires 6 pages for hockey.
13. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a
meat processing plant.
14. The most effective mosquito repellent is a
shotgun.
15. Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
16. You think the start of deer season is a
national holiday.
17. You head south to go to your cottage.
18. You frequently clean grease off your barbeque
so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
19. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
20. The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo it's
sausage making.
21. You find -40C a little chilly.
22. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
23. You attend a formal event in your best clothes,
your finest jewelry and your Sorrels.
24. You can play road hockey on skates.
25. You know 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter,
almost Winter and construction.
26. The municipality buys a zamboni before a bus.
27. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
28. You perk up when you hear the theme from
"Hockey Night in Canada".
29. You actually get these jokes and forward them
to all your Canadian friends