What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
     
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of
the cage, along with a recipe.
 
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What's the Cuban national anthem?
     
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
 
    
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After they had finished making love, the cowboy was telling the lady who'd
picked him up about his days on the range.
"It's the only life for me. In fact, I wanna die with my boots on." 
 
As they both heard a car pull in the driveway, she said, "Well...you better
get 'em on, Slick. That's my husband, the Sheriff


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The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said,
"Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
 
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

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Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor.
"Do you wash?" the doc asked the smelly young girl.
"Oh, yes," Mary answered. "Each morning, I start at my head and
wash down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and wash up
as far up as possible."
"Well," the doc concluded, "go home and wash possible."

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Q: What is the new national bird for Iraq? 
A: DUCK 
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Q: What's the definition of a perfect woman? 
A: A blind, deaf and dumb nymphomaniac who owns a liquor store 

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At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl comes up to the altar
wearing a beautiful dress. As the children are sitting down around the
pastor, the pastor leans over and says to the girl, "That is a very pretty
dress. Is it your Easter dress?"
 
The girl replies almost directly into the pastor's clip-on mike, "Yes, and
my mom says it's a bitch to iron."

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Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted, "I am
Napoleon!"
Another one said, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "Because God told me!"
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT !! 


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Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this
taste funny to you?"
That reminds me of the cannibal that passed his friend in the woods.....
When do cannibals leave the table? When everyone's eaten.......
What is a cannibal's favorite type of TV show? A celebrity roast.....
Where do cannibals shop for fine furniture? Eatin' Allen's......
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts......
What do cannibals make out of politicians?  Baloney sandwiches......
Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant? Dinner costs an arm and a
leg......
Did you hear about the cannibal who loved fast food? He ordered a
pizza with everybody on it.......
Cannibal's recipe book: How to Serve Your Fellow Man.......
One cannibal to another: I never met a man I didn't like...........
Two cannibals were sitting by a fire. The first says, "Gee, I hate my
mother-in-law." The 2nd replies, "So, try the potatoes."
The first cannibal asked the 2nd cannibal, "Aren't you done eating
yet?" The 2nd cannibal replied, "I'm on my last leg now."