Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"

Q: Who makes more money, a prostitute or a drug dealer???

1. A prostitute. Because she can wash her crack and sell it again.

wife : our next door neighbor make love to his wife three times a day.

why don't you do that?
husband : i would love to honey. do you think her husband will mind?

wife : the man next door makes passes at me, dear. husband : is that so? i thought he had better taste than that.

a pretty woman : hi charlie! how are you? husband : pretty good. how are you?
wife : who is she?
husband : just a professional acquaintance dear. wife : whose profession? yours or hers?

a group of mules was passing by.

husband : relatives of yours, i suppose. wife : yes dear, by marriage.

Tom enters his usual watering hole and sits down, elbows on the bar. The bartender comes over and says, "What's the matter ? I've never seen you looking so depressed." Tom sighed and replied, "I had to shoot my dog." The barkeep said, "Was he mad ?"
Tom replied, "Well... he wasn't exactly pleased."