THE TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'VE JOINED A CHEAP HMO

1O. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.

9. Directions to your doctor's office include, " take a left when you

enter the trailer park".

8. Tongue depessers taste faintly of Fudgesicle.

7. Only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

6. Only item listed under Preventative Care feature is "an apple a

day".

5. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to

Goodwill last month.

4. "Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a

typo.

3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.

2. Your pills come in differenct colors with little "M" 's on them.

-------AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED A CHEAP HMO-------

1. You ask for VIAGRA. You get a popsicle stick and duct tape.