What do condoms and Kodak cameras have in common?

They both capture the moment.

The Vatacan has decided that it is not a sin to kiss a nun, just don't get into the habit.

What do Arabs do on saturday night?

They sit under palm trees and eat their dates.

What does marriage and tornadoes have in common?

Answer: In the beginning there's a lot of sucking and blowing but sooner or later someone loses a house.

Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster and a telephone pole?

1. A thirty foot cock that wants to reach out and touch someone!

Two flies are sitting on a pile of shit eating and one fly farts. The other says "Hey, do you mind, I'm trying to eat here!"

Why can't witches get pregnant?
Because their husbands have hollow-weenies!