The Top 11 Signs Someone's Been Using Your Hotmail Account

             [  The Top 5 List   www.topfive.com  ]
             [   Copyright 1999 by Chris White    ]


11> "Honey, why is an 18-wheeler from Amazon.com backing into our
    driveway?"
10> One Secret Service agent is sitting on your head while another
    is slapping cuffs on you.
9> Apparently, your flame war with DonCorleone@mafia.com is about
    to turn ugly.
8> When you log on, your computer says "You've got lawsuits!"
7> Your inbox is filled with porno and you're not a porno kind of guy.
6> You're suddenly getting more Spam than the Hormel outlet store.
5> Sotheby's says the Rembrandt is yours and that you now owe
    them $71,000,000 and change.
4> You now have 130,000 ClubTop5 subscriptions and the list 
    moderator is on the cover of Business Week.
3> Terse "Knock it off, Oedipus" email from your Mom.
2> Your wife calls you at the office to report that Pogdi, your
    Pakistani mail-order bride, has arrived.

          and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign Someone's 
             Been Using Your Hotmail Account...

1> "The resistance welcomes your involvement.  Your contact
    information has been forwarded to a local insurgent who
    will bring supplies and reinforcements to you immediately."