What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

A widow.

A man makes a suggestion to his wife, "Honey, what do you say that tonight we
change positions?"

His wife responds with, "yes, I would really like that. Tonight, you stand by
the ironing board and I'll lay on the couch and watch TV."

Two woman were talking about the new hunk in the neighborhood. "But he acts so stupid," said one to the other. "I think he must have his brains between his legs."
"Yeah," her friend sighed, "but I'd sure love to blow his mind."

Did you hear Monica Lewinsky is marrying Ted Kazcinski (sp?)? Her name will now be Monica Lewinsky-Kazcinski. It's a mouthful, but she can handle it.

Did you hear Hilary Clinton is changing her name? Sharon Peter

Monica is not going to be a doctor as planned. She "sucked" as an intern.

How does Monica call her dog?
"Come spot, come spot"

Monica Lewinsky is now working at the Pentagon. Her job at the oval office "sucked".

What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and Bill Clinton?

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Clinton doesn't know the difference.

At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked. The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No, just engrave - To My One And Only Love - that way, if we ever break up, I can use it again."

Just heard tonight the First Lady changed the name of their dog Buddy to Stains, to get back at Bill.

From now on, whenever Bill calls the dog from the White House lawn, he'll have to say, "Come Stains!" and always remember the mess he got in!