A small West Virginia Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare 
species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became 
very horny, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park 
veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To 
make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species 
available.  
While reflecting on their problem, the park administrators noticed 
Ed, a part time redneck intern, responsible for cleaning the animals' 
cages. Ed, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed 
ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species. So, the park 
administrators thought they might have a solution.  
Ed was approached with a proposition; would he be willing to have 
sex with the gorilla for $500. Ed showed some interest, but said he 
would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Ed 
announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three 
conditions.  
"First", he said. "I don't want to have to kiss her. Secondly, you must 
never tell anyone about this." The park administration quickly 
agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third 
condition.  
"Well...........," said Ed.

"You've gotta give me another week to come up with the five 
hundred bucks."