I thought about making a movie for folks my age and call it "Pumping Rust"

I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older - then it dawned on me..... they were cramming for their finals!

You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?"
Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps, toothpicks?

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency.
I think you should write . . . . A Good Doctor!

If you jogged backward . . . would you gain weight?

Wonder what you call a pocket calculator in a nudist camp?

You have to stay in shape! My grandmother...she started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
She's 97 today and we don't know where she is.

Have you ever noticed.... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.

Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead.
They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents.


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