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APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. - NAME_________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH____________
- HEIGHT:__________ WEIGHT:__________ I.Q. _________ G.P.A._________
- SOCIAL SECURITY#___________________DRIVER’S LICENSE # __________
- BOY SCOUT RANK ________________________________________________
- HOME ADDRESS_____________________CITY/STATE_________ZIP_______
- Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?________________________
- Number of years parents married:
- Do you own a van?_____ A truck with oversized tires?_____A waterbed?______
- In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?________________________
________________________________________________________________________10. In 50 words or less, what does DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you
________________________________________________________________________11. In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?________________________
________________________________________________________________________12. Church you attend? ________________________ How often?
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and priest? ____________
14. Answer by filling in the blank: pleas answer freely - all answers are confidential ( That meansI won’t tell anyone-ever-promise). A. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is ______________
B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is
C. A woman’s place is in the
D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
E. When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is
(NOTE: If answer E begins with a T or A, discontinue and leave premises; keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised). 15. What do you want to be IF you grow up?
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
Signature (that means sign your name, moron)Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (sine you probably can’t, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (You might watch your back).
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